Emotional Purge After A Nightmare Of Endurance

It has been a while since I wrote a blog. Since the end of the school year is here and things are headed in a new direction, I wanted to share all my emotions and describe what I am feeling. I honestly feel like I have been through music torture. I have big dreams and I am tired of them being cut down. I have been pretending to be something that I am not. I have even tried making a big effort to go along with things thinking I would one day be what others want me to be. The first lesson I learned is that you really can't be anything real, unless you are being yourself. A way to describe myself would be to say that I don't like to be stuck, controlled, or dictated when it comes to my own creativity. Nobody should dictate your ideas or tell you that what you're doing is wrong. I personally believe that all you need is passion, talent, hard work, and a guide who inspires to have success. For many years I have dreamed a dream that is still yet to be fulfilled. I feel that my dreams have been choked and crushed. In results my defensive side has gotten stronger and I have felt more persistence and determination to not allow others to govern my ways. I have been in this fight for a few years. I know who I want to be, and I know what I want to do. I don't want to be trapped or instructed on how to live my dreams. I can't live another minute and be told to feel that what I love is wrong. I came across a quote that said "When writing the story of your life, don't let others hold the pencil." I think that's what I will continue to fight against. I will never back down and let others force their way into my life. I am glad to be out and glad to be headed in a new direction where I can breathe and have my space to collect myself while beginning fresh and determined to live my dreams again. I can't describe how frustrating it is to be trapped into something that you want nothing to do with, but you keep trying to get to what you love, but you can never reach it because of others getting in the way. I have pushed aside the misery and tried to do things my way in my own time. Doing so, I have found greater happiness. I would like to give some great advice to people who feel like they are being controlled and trapped like I was. Never lose your fight. Always fight. Keep fighting until what you love is yours. Even when it is hard, don't let professors or anyone older than you dictate your heart. It is your life. Live it. Enjoy it. Love it.